She Falls Asleep
by kkkateydid
Summary: "I don't love you back, Misty. I'm... sorry. I have to go." Misty watched as he left the room, her body beginning to tremble. /Please... please come back... please.../ Songfic/character death/Pokeshipping


Hey everyone, it's Kate(:

Okay, so I've been working on this FOREVER and I have to say I'm fairly proud of it. No, not fairly.  
EXTREMELY proud of this. No joke.

It's to one of my favorite songs by my all time favorite artist, Thomas Michael Fletcher, a British singer/songwriter/musician from the band, McFly.  
I have to warn you, it's pretty depressing. I depressed myself a little writing it but I'm quite happy with the outcome.

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own any of the characters, regions, or anything Pokemon in this story. I also do not own the song "She Falls Asleep" by Tom Fletcher. I simply adore both and decided to combine the two into a story that I hope you thoroughly enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thanks for reading, now let's get on with the story, shall we?

**She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you  
She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you  
When she's asleep the air she's breathing is for  
You  
Are why she wants to live  
She's not got that much more to give**

It seemed like it had been too long. It _had_ been too long. The rain hadn't come for what seemed like months and now it poured down the window panes of Cerulean Gym. The raindrops raced to the bottom, the lining of the window brimming with the tears of the sky.

The young, fiery red headed gym leader lay on her bed in the upstairs portion, or rather living quarters, of the gym. Her sisters were out on another fabulous shopping adventure somewhere in Sinnoh.

Sinnoh.

The place Misty longed to be the majority of the time. If not battling someone for a gym badge, she often sat at home not doing much more than staring vacantly out the window. She yearned to be with her friends, traveling a new region and capturing new Pokemon along the way. It was a fabulous dream that slipped away from her every time it popped into her head.

Her mind wandered to Ash Ketchum, her absolute best friend. Dreams of his face had plagued her slumber nearly the week after they'd departed in Johto and she'd come back to Kanto to take over the gym. He was all she thought about. All she dreamed about. All she wanted.

As the sky grew darker and darker by the minute, her thoughts wandered to Ash's most recent letter. It had made her snap; the last thread holding her hopes together had been cut by the Fates and she was nearing the end.

And although the news of Ash getting together with Dawn crushed her heart into a dented tin can, her love for him remained. It was like she'd fallen into a deep well and Lassie hadn't been there to tell anyone. She stayed there for days on end, up to her waist in thoughts of Ash Ketchum and everything they could and should be.

Pictures of the blue haired coordinator flashed in her mind and she winced, her heart feeling sore. There was no denying Dawn was gorgeous and all the stories she'd heard about the trio's journey through Sinnoh made her out to be a fabulously nice person overall. She had a caring mother, a passion for Pokemon, and a personality almost identical to the brunette Pokemon trainer she traveled with.

Misty brought the fluffy pillow by her head to her chest and hugged it tight, nearly flattening it completely through. She buried her face in the soft down feathers and bit down on the inside of her cheek, nearly bringing the copper taste of blood to her mouth. Anything to keep the tears from coming out again.

She closed her eyes tightly and listened to the soft pitter patter of droplets on her window, the force on her eyelids lessening and the intensity of her fatigue growing. As she drifted off to sleep, Ash's face wormed it's way into her dreams again and she smiled into the pillow, losing consciousness.

**She sits alone, on her phone  
&She's calling about her broken home  
And I don't know what I should say cause she's crying  
And feels as though she's thrown it all away  
She won't last another day**

"I don't know how much more I can take this, May. I just..."

"Misty, please. You'll be fine. Look, Ash is coming home this afternoon; talk to him about it then. Please don't do anything drastic, okay?"

Misty nodded, knowing the usually perky coordinator on the other line couldn't see her movement anyways. The two said their goodbyes and Misty clicked the phone off with a sigh, returning the cordless to it's handset. She watched the lights flicker on the base with sad blue eyes and finally turned away.

She looked at the lonely walls of the gym as she made her way to the kitchen where a pot of hot water sat bubbling and scalding on the stove top, begging to be made into a mug of hot chocolate. She obeyed it's pleas and within a few minutes, she was sitting under the awning outside the front of the gym. The rain still fell from the gloomy sky as she looked out at the close by Viridian Forest.

A chuckle almost passed her lips as her memory was sent back in time to the first time she met Ash and Pikachu that day in the forest. Her peripheral vision spotted the very bike that had brought her to Ash and sent her away from him. The color scheme matched her outfit perfectly and she turned away from where it was chained up, looking to empty ground instead.

She quickly wiped a tear from her cheek and gulped down a sip of her hot chocolate, accepting the burn on her tongue. Water droplets gathered on her thick orange bangs and she attempted to ruffle them dry, only succeeding in spreading the water out more.

Heaving a sigh of defeat, she stood from the damp pavement and went back into the gym, the foggy glass doors slamming behind her.

She silently wished it was that easy.

That it was easy to just slam the door on her problems and leave the entire world behind her outside to fend for itself. She wished she hadn't gotten involved in the beauty of it all so this wouldn't be happening to her at this moment.

Never having been involved with people of any kind would have made her life so much easier.

As she passed the entry hall table, her eyes caught sight of a picture of Ash, Brock, and herself after they had finished their journey of Kanto. She took a sharp intake of breath and slammed the picture down on the marble table top, hearing the glass shattering underneath the frame. Her frustration and sadness was also taken out on her coffee mug as she beat it down onto the table, hot chocolate splashing out and thoroughly coating the midnight black counter top.

Misty heaved a sigh and quickly wiped a tear that roamed down her cheek and went to the kitchen, getting a towel to go clean up the mess.

She simply left the picture frame, broken and lifeless, laying face down on the now clean surface. She couldn't bare to see herself happy and with Ash again when now she felt so alone and unhappy.

As she turned to go back up to her room, a knock was heard at her door. She turned around, dreading to see a new trainer wanting a gym battle. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared into the friendly eyes of Ash Ketchum.

She swallowed her remorse and made her way to the door, opening it and forcing a smile. Pikachu chimed a happy chorus of his name and jumped at Misty. She gladly accepted the yellow Pokemon with a grateful hug.

"Pikachu! I missed you!" She exclaimed as he nuzzled his snub nose into her cheek in affection. He jumped down to the ground and circled around her legs a few times before bounding back next to Ash.

"Hey, Mist! It's great to finally see you in person!"

She stiffened as he came forward and hugged her. Reluctantly embracing him back she bit the inside of her cheek to stop from crying. He smelled like the outdoors; rainy, grassy, and absolutely delicious. She shook the feeling away and pulled back, keeping the fake, cookie cutter smile on her face.

"I missed you, Ketchum! How's being a Pokemon trainer going?"

He shrugged with a modest smile.

"Pretty good. I'm getting closer and closer to master status every day!"

Misty smiled. Genuinely smiled. He was the exact same boy she'd parted with nearly five years before. She ran her tongue over her teeth and took a deep breath. She gestured to the stairs and caught sight of the broken picture frame, praying he wouldn't notice it. How would she explain how his favorite picture of the three of them got ruined?

"Want to go up to my room and talk? We've got a bit to catch up on."

She watched him nod and her heart fluttered.

"I can't stay that long, though; mom wants to get to know Dawn a little better so we're all going out to dinner."

And just like that, her heart stopped fluttering. She wasn't sure if had continued to beat at all. She took a staggering breath and shakily let it out.

"Misty, are you alright?"

She nodded and straightened up, the breath returning to her lungs. She felt her face heat up with color and she abruptly turned and went up the stairs without another word. Ash, confused and now alone, decided to follow her. Pikachu bounded up behind the two, swerving in and out of the large space between them on the staircase.

Entering her light blue painted room, Misty sat down on her bed. Ash took the seat at her ocean themed desk and Pikachu hopped up next to him.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Misty looked down at her hands. She had planned on telling him how she felt, as mushy as that sounded in her mind. She'd tried so hard to forget everything that floated around in her heart the past five years while he was away with Brock and Dawn. But now that she realized he was serious about Dawn, she was having second thoughts.

"Uh... us?"

Ash felt a lump catch in his throat? _Us?_ What the hell did that mean? Ash would admit it; he had feelings for Misty. But he was with Dawn now and he loved her too. He couldn't simply drop her and go to Misty... could he?

"What about us, Mist?"

Misty bit her bottom lip nervously, picking at her nail beds. It had been a habit she picked up after the first year of being separated from Brock and Ash.

"Us as in... you and me? Ash, I uh..."

She hesitated. Could she really tell him this? He watched her with expectant eyes, urging her to go on with what she was going to say. She began to run over words and phrases in her head and threw them away almost immediately. Acting on impulse, she leaned forward and connected their lips in a kiss, hoping it would explain what her brain couldn't conjure into words.

Ash kissed back. He leaned forward in the flimsy desk chair instead of pulling back like he knew he should. As his eyes closed, Dawn's face popped into his mind and he jerked away from Misty's face, abruptly standing up. Misty looked at him, her aquamarine colored eyes clouded over with confusion.

"Misty, I can't do this to Dawn. I love her."

Misty looked up at Ash, her eyes pleading. She reached her hands out to take his and he stepped back to get away from her grip.

"But.. I love _you_."

Ash swallowed hard. That kiss had been amazing, sure. And he might have strong feelings for Misty but he couldn't do that to Dawn. He wouldn't do this to her; she didn't deserve it.

"I don't love you back, Misty. I'm... sorry. I have to go."

Misty watched as he left the room, her body beginning to tremble. Her mouth was slightly ajar and she hugged herself as she tried to keep calm.

_Please... please come back... please..._

Her mind flashed and her vision became blurry with hot, salty tears. She rocked back and forth on her bed, the mattress squeaking a faint noise as Ash's words clearly rang in her ears over and over again. Her mind pleaded for him to come back and say he was lying; that he did love her as much as she did him.

Her heart shattered as she heard the front door slam shut and she ran to her window, watching Ash and Pikachu disappear into the forest. She collapsed to the floor, holding her head in her hands as violent sobs wracked her body with intense havoc. She laced her fingers through her hair, whimpering as tears made shimmering pathways down her pale cheeks.

_Please no... please... no..._

She stumbled to her feet and made her way to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, clutching the porcelain sink for support. Her knees wobbled and she felt like a newborn foal; weak and unable to stay upright.

Unable to look herself in the eye any longer, she swung open the mirrored front of the medicine cabinet and shuffled through the numerous pills that littered the shelves. She wrapped her fingers around a orange bottle of prescription sleeping pills and looked at the label.

**DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN ONE IN A 24HR PERIOD. **

She clenched her teeth and set the container down on the back of the sink, closing the cabinet once more. She filled the cloudy glass next to the faucet up to the brim with water and looked down at it. She popped the top of the pill bottle and poured the entirety of it's contents into the palm of her hand. She took the glass of water in her other hand and silently walked back into her room, drawing her curtains and dumping the handful of pills onto her desktop. She set the glass next to it and sat down in the chair, turning on her desk lamp and taking a piece of paper and a pen from the top drawer.

_Dear Everyone,_

_I'm sorry.  
I'm so so sorry.  
I can't live like this anymore. I'm simply a hollow shell of what I used to be and events that have taken place today have confirmed I can't possibly get any better.  
I'm a hopeless case._

_Daisy, Lily, and Violet;  
Sisters forever.  
The gym is all yours now. Please don't let it become run down. I've tried so hard to keep it up and running and looking acceptable and I don't want all of that to go to waste. Keep battling and handing out gym badges. You're all worthy trainers and I know you can kick some newbie trainer's ass.  
Do it for me.  
Love you forever&always._

_Dawn;  
You're extremely lucky.  
Please, never take that boy for granted. Hold onto him. Tell him you love him every day. Cherish the moments you both share. Ash is a catch and you deserve him._

_Brock and Tracey;  
You guys were like the brothers I never had and I absolutely adore you both for that._

_Brock- you'll find that special someone some day and I'm sorry I won't be here to rejoice in that fact. You're my best friend and I'm going to miss you tremendously. Never ever change or I might have to yank your ear in the afterlife. _

_Tracey- We didn't travel with each other for long but it was long enough for me. Tracey, you're a great guy and a wonderful Pokemon watcher. You'll accomplish your dreams of being the best in no time; I know it. _

_Ash;  
I love you.  
I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I've never stopped and I never will.  
Ash Ketchum, I hope you're happy with Dawn for the rest of your life. You two make a lovely couple and I know you all's life together will be flawless.  
Ash, all I thought about was you. I was alive because of you and now I'm gone because of you. You were everything to me; the reason I lived. When you told me you didn't love me, I couldn't take it anymore.  
Ash, I love you and always will.  
Please, don't forget me._

_Your best friend and sister,  
Misty Waterflower_

She signed the paper and left it on her desk, shining the light down on it. She picked up a pill and set it on her tongue. Gulping it down, she decided there was no going back now.

In her mind, it was for the best. She couldn't deal with this anymore; the last sliver of hope she'd had for her and Ash had just been broken into a million pieces with that one sentence.

'I don't love you back, Misty.'

One by one, she swallowed 28 big blue sleeping pills. In a groggy haze, she slid off her chair and onto the floor. Her eyes shut and her breathing became shallow as she felt the everlasting effects of sleep medication overtake her small frame.

**You're climbing the stairs, unaware that's she's hurting  
bad and lying very still on floor by the door  
but it's lucky she was hoping you would come back for more.  
But it's too late to realize you've made mistakes  
**

**She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you  
She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you  
When she's asleep, the air she's breathing is for  
You  
Are why she wants to live  
She's not got that much more to give.**

The forest was eerily quiet as Ash and Pikachu walked through the dirt path obscured by small twigs, leaves, and rocks. Ash kept his hands shoved in his jean pockets and looked down at the ground, kicking pebbles out of the way. His facial expression was solemn as he thought about what had just happened.

Sure, he liked Misty. He liked her a lot but he loved Dawn and he couldn't have just dumped her for Misty, no matter how much it pained him to tell Misty he didn't love her when he did.

He yelled out in frustration and Pikachu stopped abruptly, startled at his owner's sudden outburst.

"Pikachu, what do I do? I love Misty but I love Dawn too!"

Pikachu stared up at Ash, his beady black eyes wide. Ash shook his head as the Pokemon started speaking his name as if Ash could actually understand the advice he was giving. He sighed and looked back at Cerulean City, taking his hat off and running a hand through his dark brown hair.

Pikachu jumped up on his shoulder and yanked his collar back towards the city, saying his name in a stern fashion. Ash looked over at his best friend and longtime companion and nodded.

"You're right, Pikachu. I need to go back there and tell Misty I didn't mean what I said; that I made a mistake."

Pikachu nodded and hopped down to the dirt ground, breaking into a sprint to the city. Ash called after him as he ran behind him, nearly stumbling a few times over his own feet. He went over in his head of what to say to Misty and what to say to Dawn. As soon as the words formed on his tongue, his mind went blank. He decided on saying words as soon as they popped into his head, provided they weren't the wrong ones.

But, what were the right ones?

He reached the front door of Cerulean City's gym and knocked on the door, calling Misty's name as he stared in the glass, waiting for her face to appear. When it didn't for a few minutes, he looked down at Pikachu who also stared into the door with a confused expression.

Ash tried the door and it opened easily. He pushed it open and crept inside, looking around for his best friend. When he had no luck downstairs, he climbed up the staircase, calling her name. He reached her bedroom door and knocked on it lightly, putting his ear up to the turquoise colored door.

"Misty? Uh, it's Ash. Can I come in?"

He waited for an answer and furrowed his brow, turning the knob and trying to push the door open. It cracked slightly but there was something blocking the way that he couldn't see. He pushed into the door and forced it open, hearing a thump as it opened wide enough for him to squeeze inside.

He looked down to see what was obstructing the door and his heart stopped.

It was Misty.

He jumped over her body and knelt down on the floor next to her, his usually warm brown eyes dark with worry. He picked her up into a sitting position and looked at her pale, lifeless face. He shook her shoulders and called her name, biting back tears. He picked her wrist up and felt for a pulse.

Nothing.

He shook her violently again, her head wobbling back and forth like a bobble head. He pleaded with her, a tear escaping his eye. Pikachu watched him helplessly, sitting next to him on the fluffy carpet.

"Pikachu, use thunderbolt on Misty."

Pikachu stalled for a moment before obeying, yelling his name as a yellow streak of lightening flashed through the room and shocked Misty's limp, lifeless body. Ash felt for a pulse again. Still nothing.

Ash clenched his fist and bent over, resting his forehead on Misty's shoulder. This wasn't happening. This was a dream and when he woke up, Misty would be just fine. She'd be alive and happy and he could tell her that he loved her and they'd live happily ever after.

He closed his eyes tightly and held onto Misty, hugging her midsection as he leaned up against the wall. He rocked back and forth until he fell asleep with Misty's dead body propped up against himself.

In an hour's time, he was awoken to the sound of Dawn's voice coming up the stairs. He hugged Misty protectively and waited for the door to open. When it did, he stared up at Dawn, his eyes flooded with tears.

"I... she.."

Dawn looked down at the two with a gasp.

"I'll go call 911."

Ash shakily nodded and rocked back and forth with Misty in his arms, looking around her bleak room. It had once been so pretty and ocean themed; there was life in there that couldn't be quenched. Now that Misty was gone, it just seemed like any old room you could walk into.

Police sirens wailed outside and Officer Jenny bust into the room, looking down at the two teenagers. Her expression softened and she looked down at shoes with an emotionless glance.

"Ash, I'm going to have to ask you to put Misty down now."

Ash looked up at her, his eyes wide. He furiously shook his head and held her closer to him, burying his face in her neck.

"Please don't take her away from me..."

Officer Jenny shook her head and motioned outside the door. Several men in matching uniforms filed in and forcibly took the pretty red head away from the young teenager who yelled after them, pounding his fist on the ground. He shouted her name as tears sprang back into his eyes, racing down his cheeks as he watched them zip her body into a bag and take it away.

Dawn came back in the room and encased him in a hug. He fought back and she held him closer until he finally collapsed in her arms and cried into her shoulder. She bit her lip to keep from crying herself.

Seeing Ash like this made her heart break. He was usually so strong; so resistant to feeling while they were out. Him breaking down like this and becoming so vulnerable scared her a little.

No.

It terrified her beyond belief.

"Ash, it's going to be okay..."

She patted his back and pulled him back an arm's length and stared at his tear stained face as he tried desperately to dry his eyes. He looked away from her and down to the floor, his lips slightly parted in disbelief.

"No... I don't think it is."

Dawn looked back at him as he crossed his arms over his chest. He pushed past her and ran down the stairs, bolting from the house. She watched him through the window as he disappeared through the Viridian forest, Pikachu sprinting to keep up with him.

She knew nothing would be the same now. She'd always known he cared for Misty more than she herself but she'd never wanted to accept it. Dawn loved Ash; she loved him more than anything and knowing that he loved someone else so much more than her killed her.

But seeing him like this made her realize it.

She knew she couldn't be with him anymore; his mind would constantly harbor on what happened to the girl he really loved. The girl who was now dead and riding to the morgue.

She silently descended the stairs, hugging her arms around her body. She watched the large black van drive away from the Cerulean Gym and she turned to the video phone sitting in the corner. She shuffled over and called her mom, informing her that she'd be returning home that night.

Staying here was the last thing she wanted to do.

**Please save me,  
I've been waiting  
Been aching for too long  
**

**She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you  
She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you  
When she's asleep, the air she's breathing is for  
You  
Are why she wants to live  
She's not got that much more to give.**

The forest was eerily quiet; the wind floated through the trees and blew leaves into his path. His mind was clouded over with pictures and thoughts of his first years of his journey when he was with Brock and Misty.

But mostly Misty.

Things he'd taken for granted earlier about her stuck the most in his mind. The way her hair looked when it was down, her laugh when she'd done something better than him, the way she always worried about him doing something rash. It all came flooding back into his mind, making his brain throb in pain.

All of this was too much. He'd meant to come back to visit Misty and see how she was doing and invite her over for dinner to catch up. None of this was supposed to happen. Not the feelings, not the kiss, and definitely not the death.

Pikachu padded next to him quietly, looking forward and not up at Ash. Ash glanced down at him and then back in front of him, heaving a sigh.

"Pikachu, this is all my fault..."

He mumbled aloud, popping his knuckles absentmindedly. The yellow mouse looked up at him with wide eyes and stopped suddenly in the path. Ash kept walking and then stopped as he realized Pikachu had stopped.

"Pikachu what..."

A shock of electricity coursed through his body and he looked down at the little yellow Pokemon with a confused look. Pikachu responded with a few angry mumbles of his name and kept walking in front of his trainer with his tail straight up in the air.

"Are you saying this isn't my fault? How could it _not_ be? I told her I didn't love her and she killed herself because of it. It's totally my fault."

Pikachu shook his head and kept walking. Ash finally put his legs in motion and stalked forward, shoving his hands in his pockets and keeping his head down.

And just like that, it was silent again. No talking, no bickering, no sighs. Complete and utter silence.

_In loving memory of Misty Waterflower  
1993-2010  
Memorial service held on the twenty-ninth of November, twenty-ten at 3:30 in the afternoon._

Ash stared down at the card in his hand, tugging at the tie around his neck. She wasn't in the ground yet and this was an open-coffin memorial service. He'd get to see her face one more time before only having pictures and memories to remember her by.

He politely said hello to the people that had shown up; people they'd met on their journey together. He ran a hand through his hair and heaved a sigh as people began lining up beside the now open coffin. When all the people were sitting down and conversing, he finally gathered the strength to go see her.

He slid up beside the coffin and the breath caught in his throat, staring at her cold, lifeless body.

She had a black, ankle length dress on that was embroidered with aquamarine colored bubbles down at the bottom that disappeared about halfway up the skirt. It tied behind her neck in a trim bow, exposing her shoulders. Her hair was down and wavy as it had been during the underwater ballet she had been in. She was pale beyond belief and her fiery red hair didn't make it any better.

He gulped and reached out to take her hand, holding it in his own. It was frigid and stiff but he held it in both of his hands. He sniffed back tears and leaned down to talk to her one last time.

"Hey, Mist. Everyone's here to see you. Even that Rudy kid... remember him? The guy that tried to get you to marry him in the Orange Islands? Yeah, he's here. All your sisters are here, of course. My mom and every single person we met on the road. Except for Dawn. She um... she went home the day you... yeah. Listen, Misty, I know you can't hear me or talk back to me or anything but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you and said I didn't love you; I do love you. I love you more than anything in the world and if I could take all of this back, I would in a heartbeat. I could tell you I love you and we could be happy forever and ever.. Misty, I love you and I always will. I can't... I just... goodbye, Misty."

He let go of her hand and bit his lip, turning around and running from the chapel, shoving open the swinging doors as his mother tried to chase after him. She shouted his name, waving her arm in the air as she held up her dress's skirt with the other. She finally stopped halfway down the road, Pikachu standing by her side. She looked down at him and collapsed to her knees, holding her head in her hands as the footsteps of her son faded away in the distance.

In the forest, Ash was tripped by a tree root growing across the path and fell to the ground, not bothering to break his fall. He turned his head and lay it in the dirt below him. Dirt suck to his tearstained cheeks and he clenched his fist, hitting the ground in frustration.

Why had all this happened?

**Please save me  
I've been waiting...**

A/N: Well, if that wasn't depressing, I don't think I know what is. Well, I hoped you all liked it(:


End file.
